Waiting isn’t really my favorite thing to do. In fact, I hate having to wait. Over the years, though, I learned that it is really important to be patient especially when it comes to love. As cliche as it may sound, true love really waits.
High school, personally, was an awkward stage for me. When I was in high school, my classmates already have their boyfriends and I felt like I was kind of missing out. It made me curious of what it feels like to be in love. I have always imagined and daydreamed of being in love with a person. Will it be easy? Will it be worth it? Will it be like in the movies?
In those times, I often find myself tired and impatient wondering when will I ever experience this magical-fascinating-tear jerking-beautiful thing called love? I was really curious and it made my young heart ache for it. Oftentimes I’d listen to my classmates tell kilig stories of their love life and I told myself someday I would be the one telling my friends my story. I longed for that someday for so long.
For as long as I can remember, I have been a hopeless romantic with high expectations of love. I fed myself with chick flicks, sappy novels, and endless happily-ever-afters. Yeah, yeah, I know, so corny, right? Because of this, I almost felt tempted to try my luck in dating. I mean having a boyfriend in your highschool years felt like it was a huge deal. In those years, I felt lonely and insecure about myself. I constantly failed to see my worth. I badly wanted to be wanted. I wanted for someone to pick me; I wanted to know that I was good enough.
I am good enough Lord, right?
When I was in 2nd year of high school, someone courted me. The group of people I was hanging around with already had boyfriends that time and I was a bit pressured to have one, too. So, months passed my ‘suitor’ and I have always texted each other but it was super awkward when we see each other in school. So high school, right? That time, I never really liked torpe guys. I mean, it’s cute to be shy and all but being torpe is not cute for me at all. It’s frustrating! I wasn’t the kind of girl who would throw myself at a guy and I wanted a guy who is confident. I still believe that guys should always make the first move. And because I wanted to be sure that he’s the right guy, I waited.
Months passed by and I realized I wasn’t ready. No matter how I love imagining myself being inlove, I was afraid I just loved the idea of love. I felt like I was still immature and if I jumped into this dating thing, I’d mess up my priorities or worse even have my heart broken.
In the year 2012, there was this guy that I liked and he liked me back. Even though I liked him, liking someone wasn’t enough. We were young and naive and it wasn’t the right time for us. I told him to wait, that possibly maybe someday if he’s the right guy, there’ll be a right time for the both of us. I’ve met different kinds of people in my college life. I have had crushes but I still really liked the same guy. I told myself that I will never rush this and so I waited for the right time.
Now at 20, I’m still waiting for the right time.
There are so many things that I’ve learned from when God put me through this process of waiting. There were so many low moments when I question everything and to be truly honest, there were even moments when I feel bad about myself. But as I’ve said, it is a process. And now, I can truly say that without the low moments, I could never appreciate the lessons I’ve learned.
Here are a few of the things I learned (and still learning) while I am in the process of waiting.
- There is a TIME for everything
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens..” Ecclesiastes 3:1
There’s no need to rush into a relationship. I believe in the quote “Kung maganda ka, maghihintay ka.” Funny, but it has always been a saying I lived by. Lol!! But kidding aside, there really is a time for everything here on earth. If you are young, then go study first. Believe me, I know how hard it is to control teenage hormones but if you believe that you deserve the right person then you should wait for the right time. Plus, it really is hard to balance acads and love life especially if you’re an achiever. Focus on yourself first. Focus on being the lady you want to be.
- It’s okay to have (high) standards
Many would probably disagree and say “Wag ka ng choosy, go lang ng go.” I beg to disagree. I’m not talking about physical standards here, let’s all be clear. It’s okay to be choosy. It’s okay to have standards because after all, it just means you really love yourself. It means you’re guarding your heart. If a guy really wants to pursue you, no matter how high your walls are, he will climb it. You are worth it, remember that.
- Give yourself a chance to grow as an individual.
This is so important. Find yourself. Do what you love. Learn new things. Learn who you are, what you want, who you want to be. Be the person you are destined to be. It’s really important to invest on your personal growth. Some people lose themselves when they find their person that’s why while waiting, you must master the art of self-discipline. I was immature and vulnerable when I was in high school and when I think of it, I made the right decision of not dating on those years. If I involved myself into this dating thing then I probably would have hurt myself because of my immaturity and poor decision making. It is also wise to be emotionally ready before you enter a relationship.
- While waiting, be the right person.
Be someone who you want to be with. Don’t ever think that your lack of “love life” means you’re not good enough. “So Jacob worked seven years for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.” Genesis 29:20. If your Jacob can wait for you, you can wait for him too! One of the main reasons why I stayed single is because of my aunt and mother. They became my inspiration when it comes to patiently waiting for the “one”. My mom and aunt both married their first boyfriend. They also both are professionals. I am really amazed by how they balanced their life. And so I told myself I wanted to be like them; to be the right person and be with the right person.
- Pray for your future partner.
Pray that both of you will be ready. Pray for 1 Cor. 13:4-7. Think of him (just imagine that you know him) and replace the word LOVE in the verse with “He/She”. He is patient, he is kind. He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud. He does not dishonor others, he is not self-seeking, he is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs. He does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. When you pray, pray for these qualities for your man/woman.
These songs also inspired me and helped me to be more hopeful and experience joy while waiting.
There’s no need to rush. Take your time and when the moment comes that you’re finally ready, remember to put God in the center of your relationship.